Context Matters Part II: Understanding sleep setbacks

We've talked a lot about sleep setbacks (or regressions) in terms of sensitive developmental stages and how those stages can throw to high-hell all previously hard-won sleeping skills. But I left off Part I of this series suggesting that another common cause of sleep setbacks can be a change in the context of going to sleep—often a change that we’re unaware of, or that we don’t see as important, and sometimes a change that we can’t control. Changes in context come in all varieties. Some are obvious: like a change in location. Sleep habits have a tendency to go out the window when you’re on vacation (I know a lot of us are anxious about this now), or sleeping in a hotel room or relative’s guest room. Which is one reason why “vacations” may not be so restful during the early years. (Suffice it to say that our last week's family cottage "vacation" could better be described as one large slumber party badly in need of Super Nanny intervention). Other obvious changes in context are alterations in who is taking care of the child and who is putting him or her to sleep. If mom is always present when baby goes to sleep, then her absence can have a formidable impact on sleeping habits, and dad may be at an utter loss while mom is finally out for her first Margarita with her girlfriends since the baby was born. But these changes are usually temporary and/or avoidable (not that I'm saying that the night out with the girlfriends SHOULD be avoided... not at all).

Other changes in context are not so easy to avoid. When winter turns to spring and spring to summer, your baby may have to get used to going to sleep with light pouring through the curtains. And even the smallest sliver of light may be enough to change her fundamental sense that it’s not bedtime yet. When a new baby comes along, a new sibling, this can also cause a major upheaval to your previously perfect sleeper. Now you’re different in so many ways. You don’t read as many books at bedtime. You’re tired, you’re less patient, you smell funny (fresh spit-up on your t-shirt has such a... specific odour) and so forth. And there are different noises in the house. Things aren’t as quiet as they used to be. These sorts of changes in context are rather hard or impossible to avoid or even dampen, but they may have drastic effects on your child’s sleeping habits regardless. Champion sleepers may suddenly lie awake, chanting, or whining, or rattling the bars of their cribs like little criminals. All because the context of going to sleep has changed in some pivotal way.

One way to think of the solution for sleep setbacks caused by changes in context may sound simplistic: change the context back to whatever worked best or whatever context has been in place until now. If you can. Of course, if the change in context is a change in season, from winter to spring, you won’t have much luck changing it back for another half year or so. But you can, instead, install heavy curtains to block out the light coming through the window. And that’s often the best you can do: approximate the context that’s been in place up until now. If the noise level in the house is the problem, put a white noise generator, or simply a fan, next to the baby’s crib. Sometimes a CD of lullabies does the trick. The key to finding the right solution is pin-pointing what’s different. What’s changed? Often some detective work is required. Whatever has changed in the lighting, atmosphere, sound level, or you may not be the least bit obvious, even though that change is sufficiently potent to make a big difference to your child’s sleep. Babies and toddlers are exquisitely sensitive little beings, and their nervous systems are tuned to many perceptual aspects of their environment that completely escape your attention. And they like familiarity. So, if a sleep setback seems to have no other reason behind it, and a change in context is the likely culprit, try to put yourself in that crib, tune your eyes, ears, nose, and skin to the world around you as sensitively as you can, and you’ll probably figure out the problem in no time. Along these same lines, if you're going on vacation, try to mimic the exact sleep context you have at home: the same dark room, the same teddy, blanket, soother, the same stories, the same music, and so on.

Finally, some changes in context are unavoidable and no approximation on your part will bring back what the baby was previously used to (for example, babies grow out of swaddles -- even the most "miraculous" of them all -- and you're not going to be rolling a 12-month old into a tight blanket; toddlers leap out of cribs and the inevitable move to the "big boy/girl bed" can't be put off until adolescence -- despite MY best efforts). When these unavoidable changes in sleep contexts occur, the only thing we can do is rest-assured that children are miraculously adaptive little organisms and they DO learn new sleep habits with our help. 

Part III will cover how PHYSICAL milestones can be considered a fundamental change in the child's context and, of course, why this might spell trouble for already-established healthy sleep habits.

Anyone going through one of these unavoidable changes in sleep contexts? How are you coping?

Comments

[z]

Yes the dreaded daylight savings. To combat that since the boys' room window faces east we have half the window covered in foli. Then we light blocking blinds and blackout curtains. All these combines make some difference but light still creeps in on the side. It's okay though at the very least most mornings they sleep until 7 instead of the previous 5am wake up call. I am looking forward to winter when the wake up time was closer to 8. Now that was heaven :)

[z]

Okay serious grammar and spelling errors there but am trying to do this one-handed and while I use the other to ward off other excited hands.

[fahmi]

Our biggest problem is the change in seasons because despite having blackout curtains, it's not 100% dark. Luckily, time change hasn't been much of a problem.

Because the weather is hot, we've tried putting kidlet to sleep without the footed sleepers, but in pants and shirt - and that apparently wasn't a good idea. The kidlet wailed and fell asleep, woke up and thrashed and fell asleep, and then whined his "Why am I awaaaake?" until I finally gave up at about 2am and put him in his sleepers. Zonked out happily. He wakes up with the sleeper soaked from sweat, but...*shrug*

The kidlet can roll over and is working on pulling himself up, so we took the bumpers off the crib. That was yet another change that had him waking up often in the night. Apparently he used to gnaw on the bumpers at night to soothe himself to sleep. He took about two days to get used to not having them anymore, but sigh.

[Kelly]

Such a timely post...we have been working on our house and refinished the floors upstairs, where the bedroom is, so we had to sleep down in the living room for a couple of days. It was one of the most difficult "regressions" I've ever experienced. Our 22-mo old wailed and flitted back and forth between mama and papa, wanted a story, didn't want a story, wanted songs, didn't want songs, absolutely DID NOT want to nurse (although that is her usual go to bed pattern), and generally did not fall asleep until way, way, way too late. Now we are back upstairs, but (.sigh.) we have new curtains up and those have been freaking her out, although she was somewhat better today. Nothing to do sometimes but ride it out, I guess.

[lisa]

My 18 month old has finally decided to sleep through at night. For him this means from about 7:15 til between 4:30 and 5:00 but this is a big improvement to how things were even a couple months ago so we can't complain. The last few days he has even gone to bed for papa with little complaint and no nursing... Which is great! But, he is this close to climbing out of his crib and in a month we will be travelling for a month to Canada where we will have a 12 and then 15 hour time difference to deal with on top of a different bed... Luckily I will be with family so I think they will be a big help and I am going to enjoy the sleep while I have it!

[Penny]

Thank you for the timely post! You've confirmed what I suspected was the sleep issue with my 5month-old at Grandma's house - different cot, different room, different temperature, different light level - no wonder he couldn't sleep!!!

Having 2 older children who managed strange beds easily as babies, I didn't realise at first what the problem was, but I confirmed it at home - kept everything the same, but used the pack-n-play instead of his crib. Bingo - he fussed throughout the nap.

I have now realised that my other 2 started sleeping in strange beds at an earlier age (from 1-2months), but because of the limit in beds at other people's houses :-) my youngest has slept in his pram until 5months.

However, I persisted in giving him sleeps/naps at home in the pack-n-play, and tried again at Grandma's today using a familiar blanket draped within sight (and out of reach), a familiar teddy, and heavier bedding to beat the cold. He slept much better!

[Bella]

@fahmi: Yeah, I remember the rolling over thing really threw our boys' sleep out the window for a while. They'd compulsively flop over when they were put on their backs and then cry bloody murder because they couldn't get back over. The only thing I could do to cope (which probably made no difference, but it DID give me a tiny sense of control, which helps me) was to "practice" with them in the daytime the whole rolling back and forth thing.

@Kelly: what is it with curtains? We had to change ours because they were "too scary".

@lisa: we're going to be in the same boat, just the other way around. I'm leaving Canada for a month for Europe, scared out of my mind that the boys will never sleep again...

@Penny: YEAH! So glad things were better!