Temperament Part I: Let's talk about our "special snowflakes" for a change

This week, I'd like to focus these posts on the issue of temperament. So, way back when I first started this blog, I provided this caveat. Basically, I acknowledged that all children are indeed unique to some extent, but this blog would be largely discussing how remarkably SIMILAR children can be in terms of the developmental stages through which they grow. Somewhere in that early post, however, I did promise to address how developmental psychologists think about DIFFERENCES among children. Surely, some of you have read a description I've written about the "typical" 9-month old and have shaken your head, not seeing anything similar in your child. Or, even more likely, you've read about the terrible, oh-so-sensitive time windows in development that I have suggested you avoid sleep training AT. ALL. COSTS.  And one of those windows was precisely when you last sleep-trained, with no problems whatsoever and no heartache for you or your baby. I know of a couple of these cases personally, so I know they're out there. The developmental stages I've outlined here have very strong empirical support. There have been decades of studies conducted on the remarkable predictability of cognitive and emotional changes that occur in childhood. But all these studies also show that there ARE differences among children and not ALL children at ALL times conform to either the timing or the character of these stages.

Both as a developmentalist and as a parent (and especially as a parent of twins!) I am very aware of how different children can be. Some individual differences are at least partially built into the child’s nervous system, generally through genetic influences. These differences, usually referred to as temperament, are thought to be evident early in the child's life, if not right from birth. Temperamental differences are thought to be biologically-based and psychologists for decades have been trying to understand, categorize, explore, predict and basically figure out WHY some kids have certain temperaments while others have different ones. We've also been trying to figure out whether some temperaments predict better or worst outcomes for some children and not others. But there's still A LOT of debate about temperamental differences and there's almost nothing out there on how these differences impact on sleep habits. That won't stop me from speculating though...

The interaction between “nature” (genes) and “nurture” (experience) is what makes temperament so difficult, complex, and fascinating to study. For example, children who are anxious or inhibited in the middle of the first year sometimes end up as anxious/inhibited adolescents and adults, but more often end up indistinguishable from their peers. The outcome seems to depend on their social experiences. And the tendency toward depression, while stamped in genes that govern brain development, only leads to depression in certain individuals. Others grow up without depression, due in large part to the nurturance and support of parents and other caregivers.  So, the “finished product” of temperament comes from an ongoing spiral of influence between genes and environment. But temperamental tendencies, and their biological foundations, are clearly seen in late infancy and early childhood, and these differences greatly affect how children will respond to emotional challenges such as sleep training. In turn, the impact of such challenges on the development of personality is huge. And that’s why it’s of utmost importance to try to tailor emotional challenges (like sleep training) to your child’s temperamental vulnerabilities.

In the next couple of posts, I'll be discussing some of the basic research in this area and it would be great if you could join me in discussing/speculating/musing about how temperamental differences could make a difference in your child's sleep training experience.

Comments

[Beth]

I think you forgot to add how Karma can play a role too! I have a degree in genetics and I swear my daughter is a crappy sleeper at times because my husband and I both were! :) At least that is what the grandparents say.

But in all seriousness, I look forward to these discussions and speculations. I hope I can add some things in too in regards to sleep training experiences.

[Kelly]

Ooooh. I can't wait for this discussion. Even hubby is watching this space in anticipation. I have been trying to figure out for my daughter's entire short life if she's "high needs", hyper-sensitive, or just melodramatic. No matter which, I have no doubt it has affected her sleep patterns. (See my comments on the teething entry.)

[Penny]

I love love love this stuff!!! Thank you for starting this - I will be following with heaps of interest!

Don't know if your use of 'temperament' is the same as my understanding of the term. However this is my non-scientific assessment of my 3 kids:
#1 - perfectionist, loves routine (melancholy) - slept beautifully on a schedule since day 1
#2 - drama queen, easily stimulated (sanguine) - makes a lot of noise but sleeps well when quietened down and left alone
#3 - placid, likes to cuddle (phleg?) - sleeps really well in his familiar environment, but acts up if something gets changed

I am soooo convinced temperament affects sleep!

[Isabela]

@Beth: HYSTERICAL. Karma indeed -- an understudied causal mechanism. I'd love to hear your thoughts, both on the genetics angle and your own personal experience. I'm admittedly baffled when I think about any kind of "simple" genetic explanation for sleep-pattern differences in children. I mean, what could the genes be linked to? General arousability? Sensation-seeking? Anxiety? I hope no one is expecting me to have any definitive answers on this one because all I have is some thoughts sparked by some research and a whole lot of my own questions...

@Kelly: Yeah, these "sensitivities" clearly have an impact on sleeping, but the precise mechanism by which this happens? That's what I'm unclear about. And, to further complicate matters, if you're a "bad" sleeper, that will have a huge impact on your "mood" which, in turn, relates to personality development over time.

@Penny: I'm working on the post about how exactly mainstream developmental psychologists categorize different temperaments. Your classifications are certainly related, although there are some distinctions. I love talking about how different people have come up with different ways to categorize personalities (which is an extension of early temperament, really).

[anna]

Just blurting out here rather than trying to find a more relevant post because I am so tired it's untrue. My boy will be 21 months in two weeks time and I am REALLY HOPING he is going to start sleeping better very soon. Actually, he's sleeping fine. It's the waking up that isn't so good. Before 5.30am every morning for the last 3 weeks. The worst part is it makes me so angry, and makes me question every parenting choice I've made to date. Makes me wonder if we shouldn't switch to cosleeping now. Makes me short tempered with him (NO I don't want to dance at 5.45am, thank you) which makes us both cry. He's pretty much the most laid back good natured kid ever (I mean, to the extent that a toddler can be laid back) but GAWD I hope he starts sleeping a bit later soon.

Ahem. Anyway. Will look forward to reading the next posts.

[Beth]

Bella, I honestly think that genetics doesn't play a huge part in sleep directly. I don't believe there is a "sleep gene" so to speak. I think it plays more into the child's temperament, and that factored in with environment kind of dictate what kind of sleeper you will get. Identical twins don't always have the same temperaments and sleep abilities, and their DNA is the same. The difference has to be environmental, no? But that is just my scientific opinion for what it's worth. While genes control many things big and small (and I suspect that in the years to come, we'll find out a lot more of those small things) I think so much of sleep is parasympatheticly driven.

As to personal experiences, my child has always been somewhat "high needs" but has a very pleasant temperament (even when denied sleep). She isn't the type that will just play on her own; she does much better when around other children. She needs and enjoys a lot of visual stimulation and physical movement. Her sleep swings back and forth over the weeks from totally fine to OMG awful.

Surprisingly, her temperament doesn't seem to have much of an effect on sleep training - further proof that kids adjust so well! We used Ferber at 7 months and it worked well, and much quicker than us trying to re-Ferberize now at 14 months. Currently her stubbornness is making it a little harder, but we shall endure. Even still she is happy in the mornings.

Bella - do you think birth order plays any role in any of this? So often I hear about the difficulties sleep wise with child #1 and how their temperament was a bit tougher. And child #2 always seems to be more laid back and sleeps better, etc. I think some of it is the parent's confidence level and the energy they project during the process. (I totally believe in the "Dog-Whisperer" energy projection-esque affecting potential - too bad you can't just "shhz!" babies like he does the dogs...) Maybe it's just that parents are more confident in themselves or used to things with child #2 and on. But then how does that play into situations with multiples? Interesting...

Sorry for the novel here, but fascinating stuff I say!