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May 19, 2009


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I have a 2-1/2-year-old and a 5-month-old and...wow. He fits your description EXACTLY. He's been so much more of a little terror in the past few months than he EVER was. It's how defiant he is that really gets my goat. He does this "NO!" bit with a shrugged shoulder and a tilt of his head that would rival a teenager for its sheer obnoxiousness.

As for sleep, he definitely went through a sleep problem, coming into our room at 2 in the morning (during a wonderful three-hour stretch of sleep from the newborn, naturally), insisting on sleeping on the floor in our room...it's been crazy. He'll be 31 monhts in a few days, and the sleep does seem to be getting better, but the jealousy...Oh, I definitely see the jealousy! Anything Little Brother has, Big Brother wants, even if it's a stupid baby toy that he outgrew years ago. I know he craves some mommy time, too, but I can't give him the one-on-one when I have a needy baby to nurse, hold, etc., too.

I'm waiting to see when I can make one major change in his sleep habits, though, and that's making him learn to fall asleep in his bed, and not on the floor next to the gate at the top of the stairs. He's been doing this for about a year, and people kept telling me he'd outgrow it. Well, he hasn't yet, and it's getting pretty annoying, especially now that I have to carry the new baby up the stairs with me. Trying to get myself over the gate without killing either child has been a challenge, but I didn't want to force a change on Big Brother until he was ready. But it sounds like I may want to put that off another few months... Sigh.

We don't have a second child, but my 2 1/2 year old son is jealous of my husband! When I get a hug, he'll say, "Don't touch MY mommy!" (It made me think of the Oedipal complex, but basic jealousy makes a lot more sense.)

I have a son who will turn three in about a month and a half and a 2.5 month old. After reading this I'm realizing that his behavior isn't JUST because of the new baby! After the baby was born, he mainly just got SUPER defiant and started breaking rules that we had established long ago. For instance, he started running away from me in public. And, of course, he chose to run toward anything dangerous (getting the biggest reaction out of me, of course). He ran toward busy streets and even ran onto a pier on the lake! Luckily, I think we're past that. However, after having a year and a half of him sleeping all through the night by himself, he's gone to getting up every single night again.

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Hi, I'm Isabel

  • I'm a developmental psychologist and mom to two awesome 3-year-old boys. My area of expertise is social and emotional development and most of my research is on interventions that help make families and friendships healthier for children. More about me...


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